Never The Same
by chibi-ShadowMaiden
Summary: Without anyone or anything to truly live for, Carmen has been living in what seems like a dark abbyss for what seems like eternites. However, when she reunites with someone of her past who made her that way, her life becomes more complicated.OCxEmmett
1. Chapter 1

**-Never the same**

**AN:Here's chapter 1, I hope you like it. :)There's a few pov changes, but I doubt that will be a problem. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

I huffed as I struggled to keep up with my companion, Garrett, a fellow vampire as we sprinted through a forest. I thought that I was actually keeping up with him for once, but when his bright crimson eyes made contact with my faded ones, I realized how far behind I really was. I furrowed my eyebrows by the sight of how cold his eyes were. I almost thought that I was doing something right for once, but I realized that I was mistaken. He glared back at me and I could faintly hear him hiss, "Can't you do anything right, just once!" Normally, he wouldn't care if I was behind, but today it was different. Some vampire was hot on our trail. How were we supposed to know we weren't aloud to hunt in this area? I bet that vampire just wanted all of the meat in the area for himself. No matter, we didn't stick around for an explanation. Garrett figured that we wouldn't be able to win a fight against him, especially with me around...So, Garrett knocked him on the other side of the forest and here we are now! Running with our tails between our legs. I couldn't stand it, but frankly, it was our best option at the time.

I managed to force myself to go faster and I could see the forest beginning to clear and I could hear water running, maybe a river, or possibly an ocean in the distance. That could be a good way to loose the bloodsucker that nearly caught us! Garrett, seemed to be thinking the same thing because he sped up and I mimicked the discreet action as best as I could manage.

I knew that the vampire trailing behind us was even closer now. The sound of his heavy footsteps hitting the ground became more clear as his scent hit my nostrils. I felt myself slow down slightly as I took in his scent. The scent of his expensive cologne drifted in the air. I closed my eyes for a moment in ease. He smelled so good, and it was almost comforting. Kind of like your grandma taking a batch of cookies out of the oven. I growled and shook my head to myself when I realized that I was dwelling on something so insignificant. Plus, the thoughts were slowing me down, and I did_ not_ need that.

I watched Garrett intently as he jumped elegantly off of a cliff and in to the ocean. He peeked at me and gave me a look that warned, 'don't do anything stupid'. I headed the warning as I focused on trying my best to not screw up. I mean, all I had to do was jump, and swim, right? How could I mess up something as simple as that? As I jumped to the ocean with a clumsy diving technique, I realized that there were many ways to mess up the jump itself. I thought that I was dead for sure when my head slammed in to one of the jagged rocks with such immense force. I let out a cry below the water as the pain set in after the shock. I felt my blood oozing out of my skull and soiling the water around me. I tried to think of a way to survive on my own behalf. Garrett was long gone, because we both understood that if he came back for me he'd die too. The last thing that I could remember was seeing that vampire diving in to the water after me. My vision was getting blurry, so I could hardly see what he looked like as he swam closer, closer, and closer, until I was in reach of him. The only thing running through my head at that moment was, 'I'm so dead...'

* * *

I stopped swimming once I was positive that I was far enough of a distance away and looked back at Carmen. That vampire was pulling her to the surface and dragging her to the shore. I almost thought about going back and trying to get her, but I knew my efforts would be futile. Plus, I didn't want to take the chance of getting ripped to shreds. I'll pass on that. Besides, that was all her own fault. I told her a million times,(probably literally) that if there was a chance of me getting killed, I wouldn't go back for her. Something like this happened before a couple of times, but she managed to get out alive, so she knows the drill. Although, it would be a disappointment if she got killed. It would be nearly impossible to replace her. I've never met a vampire before that was so naive, as well as weak. It made taking advantage of her effortless. Maybe if I was lucky enough, that vampire who was taking her would pity her enough to let her live. I sighed irritated and continued swimming away. Once the area was clear of danger, maybe then I'd see what happened to her.

* * *

I swam to the shore, dragging the unconscious girl, whose species I was still unsure of. I laid her on the moist sand on her back effortlessly. I slapped her flushed cheeks as gently as I could manage. A confused expression crossed my marble skin. Something wasn't right. Looking at her pale caramel skin glimmer in the sunlight, I was sure that she was a vampire, yet she didn't seem like one at all. Any normal vampire that fell from and hit a rock like that wouldn't really be effected like this. If anything, the rock would be. There was a huge gash on her head and blood was flowing out quickly. Also, on top of that, I've never seen a vampire pass out. Except for Renesmee, but that was because she was a half vampire. The thought of another hybrid made me anxious, but in a good way. I threw her over my shoulder with interest. As I began running though the forest, I could feel the blood oozing from her skull and on to my shirt. I scrunched my nose. Her blood smelled just like that of a human's. I didn't know how much more I could take; it was intoxicating. I tried my best to resist the temptation until I reached the house. Someone there would know what would do, and who knows. Maybe someone would know what she is exactly. On the way there, it didn't even occur to me that I was bringing her in to a house with a bunch of vampires who may not be able to control themselves from the scent of her blood...

* * *

It seemed so clear. It happened so many times before, so I guess it made sense for it to be. In the dream I was sprawled on a bed, pinned down by Garrett who was looming over my small and fragile form. His lips trailed from the corner of my mouth to my neck. I balled my hands in to fists tightly and shut my eyes tight as I could and hoped for it to be over soon. Just like that, his fangs sunk in to the flesh of my throat. In the dream, my eyes shot open and revealed a mixture of anxiety, pain, and fear in them. I lifted my arms on to his broad shoulders in a pitiful attempt to get him to stop, but he snatched both of my hands and squeezed them together tightly against my side with one of his hands so that I was unable to push him off of me. I cried out loudly. I was in pain and I was so helpless. I couldn't do a thing to stop him. I never could. Suddenly, the pressure of his fangs left my neck as he lifted his head and looked down at me. Next thing I knew I was slammed against the wall on the opposite side of the room and he was standing in front of me with a sadistic grin as he whipped some of my blood off of the sides of his mouth with his sleeve. The look in his eyes...He was still bloodthirsty.

"Get him out of here!"a voice intruded, as I slowly began to gain consciousness. My eyes slowly opened and as I looked around, everything was blurry, and just like in the dream, my body was against the wall. My hand was immediately pressed against my head when I began to feel it throbbing. I was met again with that warm liquid that was so familiar. Blood.

I looked around the room, just trying to see. The only thing I could see was the vague outlines of people. There were quite a few, maybe five or four. They were all facing me, and I couldn't see the expressions on their faces. For all I knew they could be glaring at me, ready to kill me, or they could have been smiling. I honestly couldn't know. However, I was able to perceive that the mood of the room was tense. I was at the point to where I couldn't even understand what they were saying. It was just unclear noises. I looked at the outlines and saw that one person was being pulled away by another in a rugged manor. I wish I knew what the hell was going on, and on top of that, where was Garrett? I would have felt safer if I knew that he was here with me. My eyes slowly rolled to the back of my head as I began to lost consciousness again.

* * *

After they saw her eyes close and her body become limp, all their curious eyes shot at the one who brought her there. "Emmett! Why did you bring her here!"Rosalie was the first to scold. "You could have gotten her killed..."she added in a mumble, attempting to justifying yelling at the bulky vampire. Everyone in the room knew she wasn't exactly concerned about the girl, but for other reasons that weren't likable.  
Emmett put his hand on the back of his neck nervously as his eyes trailed from his shoes to the window. He looked outside where Alice and Carlisle were grasping Jasper who was crazed and he was trying to fight out of their grip. His head whipped around at the house and Emmett could see his lust for blood in his eyes. He shivered slightly at the sight.

"Wow..."Esme muttered to herself astonished as she kneeled down next to the unconscious girl, taking a closer look. "She's no normal vampire, that's for sure..."

"Yeah, I noticed,"Emmett agreed folding his arms and approached the two unusually timid. He felt Rosalie glaring daggers at him, when he showed slight interest in the other girl. Rosalie then turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, and expected Emmett to apologize, and then flatter her. To her dismay, he never did, and she was fuming about it.

Esme turned her head to look at Emmett as she said with excitement dancing in her eyes, "I wonder if she's a half vampire like Renesmee!"

"Could be. Carlisle would know."

"I suppose he would. Well, why don't you bring her to the guest room so that she can rest in there. I'm sure the floor isn't the best place for her to sleep,"Esme suggested standing up moving to the side so that her son could pick up the supposed vampire. Emmett leaned over and touched her very lightly, afraid that she would brake if she was touched. Not only that, but he was fearful of what Rosalie would think of it. He already knew that she wasn't very welcoming to the poor thing.

Emmett placed her on the guest bed as gently as he could have managed. Esme was right on his heels practically, and she moved next to him and stared at the girl. It wasn't every day where they would come across someone new. Especially not this intriguing. Even Rosalie stared curiously in the doorway with her pride prohibiting her to show relative interest.

"Who is she?"Esme asked softly , examining the gash on the girl's head. Emmett sighed when he sensed Rosalie leave the doorway and go outside somewhere. Emmett knew that she only wanted his attention which he was almost flattered by, but he was unsure if it was appropriate. He hated to admit it, but she was being selfish.

Emmett replied uneasily,"Not sure. I found her when I was hunting. She was with some guy and they were trying to feed on a group of men..."

"Hmm. She probably didn't know that the area was off limits. Good thing you found her before those wolves did,"Esme humored. Emmett shrugged and smiled crookedly with his arms folded. He would never verbalize it, but he was happy that he saved her.

"Yeah, I guess so,"Emmett agreed absentmindedly as he headed out of the room in thought, trying to figure out how to get Rosalie to not be angry with him. Of course, he knew that she didn't have a legitimate reason for being angry at him(even though she was), but he wanted to avoid having a pointless argument. However, that was the least of his worries. He was finding it difficult to stop thinking about that girl, and he could never let Rosalie know that. There's was just something about the girl. She was so unique.

**AN: I would really appreciate reviews. They do mean a lot. I'd love to know if you guys are enjoying the story so far. Constructive critique is always appreciated too. Oh yeah, let me know if I should keep to having pov changes throughout the chapters, or if you'd rather have only one pov. Well, I guess that's about it, thank you! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2. I still haven't gotten any reviews yet, but I'll be as patient as I can, I promise. Reviews really help me hint, hint.**

"Emmett! Why the hell did you bring her here!"Rosalie screamed.

"What did you expect me to do! She was hurt! Did you not see that gash on her head?! I was just trying to help her!"Emmett roared at her furiously.

She glared at him. "You call that helping her out?!"she hissed. "I saw the way you were looking at her! You better get rid of her and your little crush that you have on her! Your so stupid!"

"So this is what this is about! You really think I'm going to dump you for a girl who I just met!? I haven't even said one word to her yet!"he yelled at her, getting angrier by the second. He couldn't stand the fact that she didn't trust him. Thinking that he was going to do something irrational, he turned around on his heal and stormed out of the room.

"You're so stupid You don't understand me at all!"she shrieked at him down the hallway.

"Just so you know, I'm not going to hate her just because you do!"Emmett hollered back at her. She glared coldly at his back and didn't say anything more. Emmett froze when it occured to him that Rosalie could be right.

* * *  
The next time I awoke, I thought I was looking at an angel. He had perfect and neat platinum blonde hair. His marble skin glittered as the sun escaped through the window, hitting his perfect skin. His scarlet eyes rose up from his book to my lost face and the corners of his lips slowly rose in to a welcoming smile. I was still very drowsy, so I didn't even think it was real. I thought that it was a dream.  
"How are you feeling?"Was the first thing that he said to me as he put the book down and gave me his full attention. The way he spoke, his words flowed so smoothly with his voice, and it reminded me of a piano being played. I felt my cheeks heat up ever so slightly. I would never call a man pretty, but dammit, he was.

He pulled the chair that he had been sitting in to the side of my bed and sat down again. I sat up in the bed and whipped the sleep out of my eyes. I cleared my throat, attempting to regain my composure. "I'm fine,"I lied as I held my throbbing head as inconspicuous as I could. I continued to speak in barly over a mumble due to my disorientation, "But...what exactly happened?"

"I should be the one asking you that,"he chuckled. "One of my sons brought you here. He said that you slammed your head against one of those rocks...You were bleeding and everything."

"Oh. He must have been the one who was chasing us..."I stated to myself softly, staring at my shaking hands. I felt bashful when I looked at him. He was so beautiful, and I must've looked like crap at the time. I added, "Why exactly was he chasing us anyway?"

I peaked up at him when I didn't get an answer from him. His was smiling. Why? My guess was that he was amused by my peculiar behavior. My eyes shot back down to my lap.I looked back up at him when he began speaking again. "If I recall, he said something about you hunting on the territory. You see, there is an agreement between us vampires living in this town and the Quileute wolf tribe. To keep the peace between all of us, the treaty prevents us from killing humans in the area. Emmett was probably trying to explain that to you, so that you don't learn about the treaty the hard way,"he explained and now it made sense.

"Wow, I guess we got lucky then."I sighed in distress. I was so pathetic. The only reason that I was alive now was because I came across someone who was helping me. I wasn't alive because I was strong, or smart. I was just a fortuitous imbecile.

My eyes became wider in surprise when I realized that I was staring at him while I was daydreaming. I muttered an appalogie and my lips pulled in to a tight line as I looked down.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is 'us', that you were referring to?"

"I've been traveling with a man names Garrett ever since I can remember. He's a vampire as well. He fled when...Emmett, was it, was chasing us, so he should be long gone,"I answered and I shivered at the mere thought of him.

He gave one of those half asses, ah's. He looked like he was thinking harder on what I had just said for a moment. He then said humorously, "How silly of me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Carlisle."

"Oh, right. I forgot as well. My name is Carmen."

He nodded noted, "It's a pleasure to meet you." He looked me dead in the eye and held out a hand for me to shake. Seemed like one of those buisness smiles. I squinted my eyes unsurely as I held out my hand and our cold hands fufilled the gesture. Although his hands were like ice, I felt a hidden warmth behind them. My eyes traveled from our now parting hands to his eyes. His lips were curved upward, giving me a pleasant expression. He seemed so genuine. I was hoping that he wasn't too good to be true.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you. It's clear that you are a vampire, but you also have human traits. I guess what I'm asking is, are you a half vampire?"he inquired, and it almost made me laugh(but I didn't) that it was his turn to feel awkward.

I looked down, not because I was uncomfortable, but because I was in thought. I was trying to think of a good way to word it. I looked back up at his patient face and I began, "Well I always thought of myself as a full vampire...but a while after I was changed, I noticed that I was much slower, weaker, and especially more fragile than the average vampire. Like you said, many human traits. I thought it would just take some time for me to have the abilities of most vampires, but it never happened. I guess I'll always be like this..." I shrugged after explaining it to him. I despised talking about this. Over and over, vampires would ask me the same question. Once I explained it to them, they would think less of me. I frowned and waited for him to do the same.

However, he didn't. He put a hand on his chin and actually thought further about it. I sighed. If he had something to say, I wish that he would just spit it out. "I think that may just be your ability..."

"What do you mean by that?"I asked shocked that I wasn't being insulted.

"Well, it's rare, but some vampires have an ability when they are changed. For instance, Emmett's ability is that he is much stronger than the average vampire. Yours must be to be able to appear human,"he explained, very non judgmental, and it actually made sense. For once it wasn't looked down upon as a curse. An ability...I liked the sound of that. I became exited by the thought of telling Garrett that it was an 'ability'!

"Well that explains why she's so weak..."I heard a snobby voice insult, interrupting my joyful thoughts. I snapped my head to the door and saw three people standing in it. Three pairs of eyes were glaring at a blonde woman. She was so pretty, but it was apparent that she had a bad attitude. I looked back at Carlisle and to my surprise, he was glaring at her as well. I didn't think it was even possible for him to scowl. His expression softened when he looked back at me.

"Carmen, this is my family,"he began holding a hand out toward them. "Well most of them."

I recognized one of them. I was assuming that it was Emmett because I smelled him earlier when he saved me, and the scent was identical to him. Carlisle said that he was very strong, and I could tell. He towered above the other two women standing in the doorway with him, a hand running through his brown hair, and his gentle scarlet eyes refusing to make eye contact with me. It made me a little bit disappointed, but I wasn't sure why though.

The woman who hadn't insulted me was first to approach me. "Carmen, it's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Esme,"she introduced herself and grabbed both of my hands and gave them a light squeeze. I looked at her smiling face, and immediately I noticed her motherly charm. She pushed locks of her flowing brown hair out of her face as she pulled away from me.

"You too,"I agreed, forcing a smile on to my face.

I noticed Carlisle roll his eyes and sigh when the other two were not polite enough to introduce themselves. "This is Emmett, but you might know who he is already, and Rosalie."

I sent a phony smile in their direction, but it appeared genuine. The girl known as Rosalie failed to mimic the action. She stood there with her arms folded, giving me a cold glare. Emmett looked at me briefly and smiled at me with a nod. I noticed that Rosalie turned to glare at him as well. So they were a couple. Maybe that's why she seemed to resent me.

"You should be getting some more rest. That way, your wound will heal faster,"Carlisle suggested gently grazing his fingers along the back of my head. "When you wake up, hopefully you'll be able to meet the rest of my family."

"Edward and Bella should be back from the island sooner or later,"Esme added with a giggle from the thought of the two.

I felt my heart sink when hearing that name. Edward. I used to know someone by that name. Before I was changed in to a vampire I used to live in Chicago with a guy named Edward. I was crazy about him. I feel like I've never been the same since he disappeared. He was my everything and ever since he left, I've felt empty. No one would ever come close to replacing him. I sighed. I hated to think about him, it was just downright depressing, but he came to my mind all of the time.

I didn't even realize that everyone else had left the room until Carlisle was standing by the door and said, "Sweet dreams." I nodded and smiled at him before he closed the door, leaving me alone. I hadn't even realized how tired i really was until my head hit the pillow and I dozed off in to slumber.

One of the Cullens who had went on a rampage earlier that day paced around the room, all of his muscles were tight and shaking, his fists were clenched. He couldn't even begin to describe how tempting it was to feed on the girl. It was unbelievable to him that she was a vampire because her blood smelled so...intoxicating. He could barly stand being around her, yet he chose to. He paced in yet, another circle around the room. If she was only a normal human, it would be easier for him to control himself. He knew that she was a vampire like him, yet she seemed so human. That was why he was so fascinated with her, and he couldn't bring himself to leave, despite how much it was hurting him to be near her.

Once he calmed himself enough to stop shaking at least, he approached the bed where she was sleeping. He gazed at her face thoughtfully. Her expression was strained, and...she looked like she was in pain, even though she was asleep. He knew that every vampires' past wasn't much more or less cheery than his, but what was the deal with her? He could already tell that there was something seriously not right about her.

He ran his shaking index finger down the side of her was cheek, down to her chin then pulled back abruptly. Just by his touch her face softened, and she was almost smiling even. Of course his ability was to alter emotions, but he wasn't even trying to.

"Wow...She sure is different,"Alice commented, startling Jasper. He nodded in agreement. "I hate to say it, but...I have a bad feeling about her."

"So do I..."Jasper muttered and followed Alice out of the room but not before looking back at the girl one last time. "There's something about her..."

* * *  
The next time I awoke, I was met with eyes full of energy. I jumped startled at first. The person leaned back, away from me, giggling. I sat up and stared at her in thought. She seemed similar to me, in the sense that she had human traits even though she was still a vampire. Could she have been only half vampire? I found it a little unlikely for us to have the same ability. It then occurred to me how young she appeared. She looked like she was ten years old or so. She gave me a curious expression when she realized how intently I was staring.

"Your name is Carmen, right? They've been talking about you!"she teased in the sweat voice she had.

I nodded, then asked in panic, "What have they been saying?" I hoped that they didn't want me gone already. I knew that they would but I hoped that it wouldn't be this soon.

"It's nothing bad! You don't need to worry. Carlisle and Esme really like you, and don't worry about Emmett and Rosalie. Just give them some time,"she answered.

I smiled softly. She was so innocent. It was nice seeing that every now and then. "Who are you? I think I met almost everyone, how many of you guys are there anyway?"

"You didn't formally meet Jasper and Alice yet,"she said and looked behind her by the door. "Don't tell them I told you, but Jasper tried eating you earlier,"she began to tell me in a whisper. "He has cravings every now and then, so you can imagine what happened when he smelled your blood. They said that he went crazy and everything. They were saying that your blood smells exactly like that of a human's."

"Wonderful..."I mumbled sarcastically, smacking forehead in to my hands. "I knew that they weren't telling me something." I looked back up at her and she wasn't smiling anymore. Her rosy lips were just in a straight line, like she was unsure what to say. I decided it would be best to change the subject so that she wouldn't be uncomfortable by reminding her, "You still didn't tell me who you are you know."

"Oh yeah! I completely forgot!"she giggled. "I'll show you,"she informed me.

"Huh?" She placed her hand on my cheek and it was like I was seeing a video. It was the strangest thing. She showed me that her name was Renesmee, she was half vampire, and she was in love with a wolf named Jacob. He 'imprinted' on her or something that I didn't really understand. My heart dropped once she showed me her parents. Her mom was some girl named Bella, but that's not what really bothered me. Her father was...Edward. The Edward that I used to know. The one that I loved. I-I thought he died. I didn't know how to feel. When he disappeared, I spent so much time hating life, myself, and everyone around me. Seeing his face, even though it was only a vision, brought back memories of all that grief.

I buried my face in to my hands when Renesmee moved her hand away from me. I had to see him. I just had to. If I did, maybe then I'd be able to move on. Plus, I had to clear things up. I don't even know what had happened to him because he left so suddenly.

"Carmen?"Renesmee called unsurely.

My head shot up and I moved my hands away from my face. "Sorry, I'm just a little tired. , it's nice to meet you, Renesmee." I held out my hand and shook her tiny one. She grinned. She was so sweat and innocent. I really admired that about her. It then dawned on to me that I probably liked her so much because she reminded me of her father.

"Do you want to go out for a walk or something? You must need some fresh air, right?"she suggested.

"Yeah,"I agreed with a soft smile."That would probably do me some good." She stepped back to give me room as I swung my legs across the bed and let my feet touch the floor. I wrapped my arms around my busty body insecurely as I looked desperately around the room for my red trench coat. I spotted it across the room sitting on a chair and I immediately went to grab it. I quickly put it on over my meager black tank top. The only reason I wore it all the time was because Garrett got it for me. He said that he didn't want other men looking at me in lustful ways. Sadly all that time I thought that he did that to protect me...  
On the floor next to the chair that my coat had been on were my shoes. I pushed some dirt off of my black jeans as my feet slipped in to my shoes. I turned back to Renesmee and she inquired as she stood in the doorway, "Ready?" I nodded and followed her as she skipped down the stairs and through their house till she got to the front door. Their home was beautiful. It was very spacious as well.

It seemed like no one was here, but I could sense them though. As Renesmee reached her hand out to grab the door handle, Carlisle was right in front of the door, blocking our path intentionally. He smirked down at us playfully. Renesmee groaned, like she was used to this routine. "And where do you two think you're going?"

"We were just going to go outside for a while. Carmen needs some fresh air anywayz," answered with her arms folded stubbornly with a pout.

Carlisle scolded, "You know your parents want you to tell someone where you're going, remember?" Renesmee nodded with a sneer, and Carlisle continued, "But since your with Carmen, I'll let it slide this time."

"Yes!"Renesmee cheered throwing her fist in the air, victorious.

"Now, Carmen. How are you feeling now that you've had some rest?"Carlisle asked sounding concerned. At the time I couldn't imagine how he could be so caring towards me, especially since he hardly knew me.

"I'm better,"I said with a nod. I stiffened as his cold hands touched my head to examine where my wound was.

"Good. It's healed completely,"he noted as he pulled his hand away.

"Can we go now!"Renesmee whined.

Carlisle chuckled and said,"Yeah, go ahead." He opened the door for us and we headed out.

It looked like their house was in the middle of the forest. I liked it. It was nice and quit, and to me, that was comforting. Renesmee then took off in to a sprint and I walked normally in the direction where she headed. I didn't want her to know that I couldn't even keep up with her. That was just embarrassing...

"What are you doing Carmen?"she called, now stopping on the branch of a tall tree.

"Let's just take it easy. I don't feel like running today!"I yelled back. It looked like she sighed, but I couldn't really tell from where I was. She sat down on the tree and waited for me to catch up. When I was closer to where she was she swung down from the tree gracefully.

"You're not feeling good?"

"No,I'm fine, but...I just don't feel like it today,"I replied, not lying, completely.

Renesmee and I continued walking in the forest, just talking. Well, she was doing more of the talking. She didn't seem to mind though. From what I could tell, she was very talkative.I would comment every now and then, just so she would know that I was listening.

Everything was going well until that familiar smell tickled my nose. The scent that made me reach my high point. I stopped walking once my knees became weak; I knew that I couldn't resist the smell much longer. I looked at Renesmee and her head was tilted to the side, giving me a confused stare. How did she not become crazed by such a magnificent scent?I snapped my head in the direction of where I smelled my next meal with my eyes filled with gluttony. I looked back at Renesmee who looked nervous for reasons unknown to me at the time, and before running off as fast as I could, I stated "I'm starving."

* * * * *

**Review please! It helps me update a lot faster :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! This chapter is a lot shorter than the other ones. I hope you like it :)**

I felt my body become crazed from the desire of blood. I haven't fed for days and I could hardly control myself. I almost pounced on to the man, but knowing that it wouldn't seem so impressive, I managed to control myself.

I slowed up when I was there was only a few feet seperating me from my next meal. The man whom I was ready to kill turned around and jumped startled when he saw me. He was a middle aged man. Sitting on his back was a large backpack. I folded my arms scoffing as I saw that he was wearing a bulky bright red vest, insanely baggy shorts, and a pair of some rad looking boots. He looked like a hiker. After staring at him for a few moments, he began to twitch uncontrolably. He seemed a little bit dilusional.

Maybe Garrett was right...I do always come across the weird ones...However, despite how irritated I was by that, I wouldn't let that get in the way of what I needed. He pushed his large glasses up on the bridge of his nose. His eyes widened at me suddenly and he stumbled backwards fearfully. "Y-y-you're one of them!...The vampire people!"he cried before stumbled away from me until he broke in to a sprint. I cocked my head to the side curiously with my mouth parted. I wondered how he knew about vampires. Even people who were crazy actually were aware of some truth.

Even though I was slower than most vampires, I was still faster than humans, so his ahead start of running he had didn't even matter. I caught him within seconds. My hands clawed in to his shoulders and slammed him on to the ground. He screamed for help, but I ignored it as my teeth sunk in to the tender skin of his neck. I felt alive again! As I took in his blood I felt more and more powerful. It was almost like a drug. A very addictive drug...

The only problem was, he was screaming louder and wouldn't shut up. I didn't want anyone in the area to see what was going on so I did I trick Garrett showed me once. I wound my elbow back and dug my hand in to his throat. I pulled out his vocal cords. I threw them to the side and continued what I was doing. Now it was nice and quiet. Wouldn't be long until he passed out from blood loss.

When I was done I felt so relieved and I was in a better mood in fact. I stood up, and stared down at the corpse, and I felt pity for a split second. I thought for a moment how his loved ones would react, but I pushed the thoughts away. It didn't matter really because they all had to die sooner or later. They didn't have to live forever like us vampires.

My eyes traveled up the cliff that I had jumped down from and standing at the edge was Renesmee, looking petrified with hands covering her mouth and nose. I gave her a questionable look and called, "Renesmee?" Her eyes were bugging out and she didn't reply. I ran back up the cliff and stood next to her.

"What's wrong?"I asked. "We're aloud to hunt here, aren't we. This isn't the wolves' territory, right?"

She closed her eyes looking strained before she answered uneasily, "You're aloud to hunt in this area, but that's not it...I never saw...that before."

My eyes widened. "Don't tell me that you're..."

"My family, we're all vegitarian,"she finished for me. She groaned looking at the body. "I can't take that smell much longer..." I watched her sprint away from me and the dead man. I felt horrible. I would have never done that in front of her if I knew she wasn't accustom to this stuff. The look on her face made my heart sink. If it were any one else I wouldn't have felt this bad, but there was something about her that made me care.

I whipped blood off of me before I followed behind her. She was much faster than me. She knew that I was trailing behind her so she stopped and waited for me. Her arms were wrapped around herself protectively and the look on her face. She was mortified.

"Renesmee...I-...I didn't know. I'm sorry." There wasn't much else I could say. Sorry was the best thing I could come up with.

She smiled half heartedly and shook her head, brushing it off. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault." She tried to become more calm, but she was still shaking. Even though she forgave me, I still had this nautiating feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"You probably never saw something like that, have you?" She shook her head indicating she hadn't. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm such a jerk..."

"Really, it's no big deal. I mean, I'd probably see something like that sooner or later anyway, right?"she rationalized for my sake. By now she calmed down successfully. Her limbs were still, but her mouth twitched discreetly. It was only an act. It made me feel better though.

I sighed, "I suppose so."

She held her hand out to me and with a smile she asked, "Do you want to head back to the house now?"

"Sure,"I answered grabbing her small hand in mine. With that she began running and she slipped out of my grip because she was faster. She didn't stop this time because she assumed that I knew where their house was. Before long I sighed and stopped in front of a small pond, staring in to the water aimlessly.

"Carmen!"Renesmee yelled. "You coming?"

"You go ahead!"I yelled back. "I need some time to think!"

She seemed hesitant, but I saw her nod before running again. She probably understood that I still felt bad. It was probably best for me to be alone. Not just now, but in general. I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I didn't want to be hurt either. I scoffed. I finally made a friend. Someone that I really admired, and I already hurt her. I was an idiot. Maybe I was better off alone. If I was alone all these years, then Garrett would have never been able to harm me. But, I knew that it wasn't possible because I wouldn't be able to survive without him.

I decided I should leave now. If I went back to the Cullens I'd end up hurting them somehow. They were so kind (for the most part), so I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I ended up hurting them too. I'd be doing them a favor if I left now.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?"Someone questioned, startling me. I whipped my head behind me.

"Emmett!"I cried. "You scared me..."

"My bad...So what are you doing here?"he repeated sitting down next to me uneasily.

"I was thinking...Maybe I should just leave now,"I told him looking in to the pond.

He furrowed his brows confused. "What? Why? You just got here."

I looked back at him and frowned. "I'm not a good person like how you and your family. Did Renesmee mention...what she saw me do?"I asked him nervously. He told me that she hadn't. I was rather surprised that she didn't say anything to them. I was half expecting her to and them not wanting me near them ever again. I always expected the worst. I finally explained, "I fed on this guy right in front of her. I ripped him to shreds, and she saw the whole thing! That's why I should I should go..."I threw a pebble in to the pond and watched it skip until it sunk in to the water.

Silence took over because he wasn't sure what to say about that. There was nothing that he could have. I was a monster. Simple as that. "Don't be so hard on yourself. We should have told you that we don't kill humans. Seriously, you don't have to leave just because of that. I'm sure that everyone would be dissapointed if you left so suddenly."

I knew that he was only saying that to make me feel better. Even if he really did mean that, I surely didn't think that he did. I would have left anyway, but one thing was stopping me. Edward. He lived with them and I had to see and talk to him. Maybe then, I'd be able to move on. "Maybe you're right,"I agreed forcing myself to smile.

"Let's go back to the house now, what do you say?" He stood up and held his hand out to me.

"Okay,"I agreed taking his hand and he pulled me to my feet with ease. He release my hand after holding a second too long and started running to the house. He looked back and when he saw that I was lagging behind, he stopped and waited.

"Sorry. I heard Carlisle talking about your ability. I sorta forgot."

"It's alright. I'm used to it,"I remarked.

He smirked at me deviously. "Well how would you like to go fast?"

"Huh?" Next thing I knew I was being carried in his arms and he was full out sprinting. I never went this fast in my life, so I was really dizzy. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and squeezed my eyes shut. I found myself giggling. I don't even remember the last time that I've done that. Well, and actually was sincere about it. I think the last time I giggled, or laughed was when I was human. This was just so fun. I didn't want this moment to end.

We eventually made it back to the house and he stopped in the front of the house. He set me down and I stumbled. He grabbed my forearm before lost my balance completely. He chuckled and walked up the steps to get to the front door and still held on to my arm loosely, fearing that I would fall over again. When we entered the house, I heard two people talking in the nearby kitchen. The male voice sounded vaguely familiar. It couldn't be...I broke out of Emmett's light grip easily and sprinted to the kitchen. My heart sunk at what I saw in the kitchen. They were in a warm embrace with their lips locked passionately. Tears filled my eyes, but was it because I was over-joyed, or heart broken? At the time I couldn't distinguish the difference.

**Hmmm I wonder who those two are. *shifty eyes* hee hee cliff hanger...sort of. Now that you finished reading this chapter, go review for me pwease! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This chapter is on the long side. It goes in to Carmen's past, which gives some explanation as to why the way she is. Enjoy! ;)**

"It really is you..."I murmured, still trying to convince myself that he was standing in front of me, alive and looking simply perfect. Under normal conditions, I would be crying at the sight of him with another woman, especially kissing her. However, I was far to relieved to be angry about that. He released her and moved toward me slowly, almost afraid that I would dissapear if he made a sudden move.

"C-Carmen?"he stuttered in disbelief. He gripped my shoulders to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. His eyes became more wide, still in disbelief while mine were filled with tears. I was overcome at the time by joy. I haven't been so glad since the last time I saw him. "I-is this really you?"

I cried out, "Edward!" I latched my arms around his waist tightly and buried my face in to his chest and my tears poured out of my eyes like a waterfall. He hesitated to hug me back, but when he did he wrapped his arms gently around the small of my back. I missed this feeling so much. I just felt so safe when he embraced me. No one could hurt me as long as he was there with me. I remembered when we used to be together we always found our way holding each other similar to this. "Of course it's me. I missed you so much. You don't even know,"I breathed through my crying.

Edward shut his eyes tightly. He was overcome by emotions like Carmen was. Neither of them could believe that by chance they were reunited once again. While she clasped Edward affectionately, he wished that he could go back to the days when they lived together in Chicago and nothing mattered except the two of them. Yet he loved his current life just as much. He had a beautiful daughter and wife, and not to mention a loving family. They were two perfect lives, but which one did he desire more? Deep down he knew that having both lives would be impossible.

"Edward?" We pulled away unwillingly when he heard his name being called. He turned to, I suppose she was his mate. The realization of that thought made my heart sink.

He explained, "Bella, this is Carmen. I knew her when I was a human. Carmen this is Bella...my wife."he muttered the last part and he could feel a lump in his throat. I looked at Bella contently and she stared back slightly defensively. I had to admit. Initially, I was jealous, but somehow I wasn't anymore. If Edward was happy, then I guess that I was happy for him.

"So you guys know each other?"Emmett asked sounding almost hurt, entering the room.

Edward was first to reply,"Yes. A long time ago."

"Oh. Well I guess that's one less person to introduce you to,"Emmett said jokingly to me.

"Carmen. We need to talk,"Edward told me. I looked at him expectingly. He added, "In

private." He put a hand on my back lightly and guided me out of the room and outside. He didn't say a word to me yet and we walked until we reached a meadow that was near the house. I thought that he was going to sprint like everyone else does, and leave me in the dust thanks to my 'ability'. I felt like he was somehow aware of that. I sat down leaning against a tree.

Looking up at him, I was first to ask, "What happened to you? You left so suddenly. No goodbye. No nothing." My voice was cracking and I could feel the lump in my throat growning. I was almost afraid of what his answer would be, but I had hunch on what it could be. I knew that it had something to do with being changed in to a vampire. I just hoped that his mate, Bella didn't have anything to do with it. Why was he taking so long to answer? It was making me more and more anxious.

He sat down next to me. "The last time I that you saw me, I was sick, remember?"

"Of course I remember! Everytime I went to visit you, you made me leave because you didn't want me to get sick too..."I replied. "Then one day when I went to see if you were any better...You were gone. No one knew what happened to you. I thought you died, Edward!" I felt tears beginning to fill my eyes. I blinked a few times to keep them in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry,"He appologized as he prapped his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. "I would have died if it weren't for Calisle-"

"What? That's why he looked so familiar! He was your doctor back then, wasn't he?"

Edward nodded and continued, "Yes. He changed me in to a vampire because it was the only way to save me. As a human, I would have died. I feel terrible for leaving without telling you anything, but there was nothing that I could do. When I got near you, I became ravenous. I couldn't risk hurting you."

"You couldn't risk hurting me? Well...you failed. I am hurt. Of course not physically, but mentally. If you hurt me physically, I would have healed eventually. But now I'll never heal Edward! I'll never be the same!" That was it.I cracked. Tears were streaming down me cheaks uncontrollibly. I couldn't even remember the last time I cried. It must have been when Edward left.

Stiffly, he pulled me in to a hug. "I'm so sorry..."he murmured stroking my hair softly.

"How come you never came back for me? Did you just forget about me? Is Bella a nice enough replacement? Is that it?"I flooded him with questions which were muffled by his shirt.

He pulled me away from him so that he could see my face. "You don't understand. When I was able to control myself, I went back to Chicago and looked for you, but you weren't there anymore. I searched all of the surrounding cities as well. I couldn't even pick up your scent. I searched for years, but it just seemed impossible. I tried my best. Naturally, I gave up after a while, but I never forgot about you Carmen. I actually thought that you died after a while,"he explained looking me in the eyes. He wasn't just saying it to make me feel better. He really did mean it. That made me feel reassured. I was starting to think that Bella really replaced me.

"Now it's your turn...What happened to you?"Edward struggled to ask, having a feeling that he didn't want to know the answer, and trust me, he probably didn't. I didn't even want to say it.

"Well after you were gone, I tried to get over it, and forget you even, but I just couldn't. I used to hope that someday you would come back with an explanation for you being gone. Then we could go back to the way things used to be...But after, maybe a year I realized that it wouldn't happen. I used to think that it was because of me that you left. I thought that there was something wrong with me. After a year or so, I stopped taking care of myself. Then when I took on a new job, this guy Garrett was nice to me. He ended up turning me in to a vampire and I've been traveling with him ever since." I hated thinking about it, let alone talk about it. Obviously I left out a bunch of details. If Edward knew about what I didn't tell him, he would freak out. I left out all of the details of my lifestyle. I remember I used to drink almost every night. The way I got money for it was dispicible. In fact, that was how I met Garrett. During my 'job'.

I cut my eyes at Edward. He hadn't said anything about my story yet. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were focused on the grass in front of us. He looked like he was thinking hard on something. "I wish you would just tell me everything. Don't worry, I won't be angry,"he pleaded.

I folded my arms and rose a brow at him as I scoffed, "Please Edward, you don't want to know. My life isn't as peachy as yours is."

"I need to know Carmen. I care about you, so I need to know what happened. Tell me about this Garrett guy. About what you did when I left. About how you were...changed,"he demanded.

"Edward calm down. It's not a big deal, trust me. Stop being so persistant. I don't like it,"I remarked holding my head frustrated.

"'Its no big deal'? Are you kidding? If it was no big deal, then why don't you just tell me?"He continued causing me to roll my eyes.

I denied with a sigh,"Please stop pushing Edward. I don't want to talk about it. Is that a good enough answer?"

He smiled slightly at me in an understanding way. "For now, I suppose,"he replied. I gave him a smile of gratitude. "Lets go back to the house."

"Sounds good,"I said. He stood up and then pulled me to my feet. My hand lingured over his a second too long.

"You know I still love you Edward,"I stated confidently. "But...I'm not going to get in the way of you and Bella. I care about you too much to do that." I touched his cheek gently and kissed him on the cheek. In a friend way of course.

"I appreciate it. You don't even realize how much. I wouldn't know what I would do if I had to choose between you two,"he thanked me gratefully, now relieved.

"Besides, you have a wonderful daughter. She reminds me of you."

I spent the rest of the day inside the house playing just hanging out with the Cullens in their living room. All of them were there except Esme and Carlisle. They were all doing their solitary activity but took a break every so often to have a small conversation with me. Edward was looking at cars in a magazine and kept pointing out the ones that he wanted. It reminded me of the good old days. Even back in the day he was fascinated by cars.

I finally ended up meeting Alice and Jasper. I couldn't stand the way that Jasper looked at me. He looked like he hated me or something. Plus, I got these strange vibes from Alice. It was as if she wasn't sure if she knew whether or not she liked me.

Near night time everyone retreated to other parts of the house, leaving me alone in the room with only Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie made me feel uncomfortable, maybe because of the way she was glaring at me while practically chained to Emmett's arm. So, I said I decided to go to get some air.

I sat on the roof, just thinking about things that happened throughout the day. I hated how Edward tried to make me tell me about what happened to me in the past. I usually would block that part of my life out, but Edward made my mind wander back to it. I couldn't help but to think about it. Just for a minute...

* * * * *

I shuffled around the cold streets of Chicago, with my arms wrapped around myself. My skimpy clothing wasn't doing me much good. All that I had been wearing was a low cut red tank top with a black skirt aloung with red flats. The crisp fall air caused me to shiver. I was hoping that I would find a customer. I needed the money for more drinks. I just wanted to forget everything...

It was probably a little bit after midnight when a voice called to me, "How much for a night babe?"

I looked in the direction of a dark alley and saw a man walk out of the shadows. "Enough for me to get a few drinks,"I replied seductively.

"Sounds good. Lets go,"he demanded, winking at me. He placed a freezing hand on my hip and guided me to a hotel.

* *

I sat on the large bed, sitting up on my knees. I yanked the man closer to me by his collar and pulled him in to a kiss filled with lust and nothing more. He kissed me forcefully and hardly pulled away for air. My throat was burning from the lack of oxygen so I pushed him away.

"Jesus. What's your problem?"I questioned out of breath. He gave me a half hearted apalogy.

He sat back on the bed leaning on the back board in a more relaxed position with his legs on either side of me, staring as I was catching my breath. "What's your name?"

"Carmen,"I answered simply.

He smirked. "Garrett. Don't wear it out. So...why did you decide to...-"

"Prostitute myself?"I filled in, unimpressed by him. If he wanted to call me a whore, he should've just said it. "I told you. I need some drinks."

"Why though? It's not like you're addicted or anything,"he pointed out.

"I just want to forget, okay? It's not any of your buisness anyway." I folded my arms and looked away from him irritated. "Now do you want to do this or not? You're wasting my time."

"Forget, hm? I could make you forget everything,"he promised as he leaned in and nibbled at my neck. "

I laughed sarcastically at him mockingly. "I highly doubt that!"

He stood up from the bed and pulled a wad of money from his pocket and dropped a large bill on the bed. "Well...Why don't you meet me at the bar down the street tomorrow? I guarentee you, I could."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I snatched the money and put it in my shirt due to my lack of pockets. "Maybe. Only if I'm not too busy." He chuckled earily at me before leaving the hotel room.

* *

That next night I did end up going to the bar that he told me to. It seemed like there was no other way I would forget. I tried everything, so I might as well give it a shot.

That night he bought me drink after drink, and insisted that I didn't plan on paying him back, atleast not with money. He said that spending time with me was reward enough, or some shit like that. By the time I left the bar with him, I was smashed. I couldn't even recal the rest of that night with him. All I knew was that the next morning I woke up the next morning naked with Garrett no where in sight.

After that day Garrett and I had been something like friends for a few months. We hung out a lot. I enjoyed his company, but he had this eeriness about him that frightened me. However, after that one destined day, we became something far different from friends.

* *

I couldn't bear to think further in to it. I needed to do something active. Get my mind off of it. I sighed and started walking in to the forest aimlessly, unaware that someone in the Cullen household could read thoughts.

**AN: There is some more to her past, but I didn't want to smush it all in on one chapter. I thought that it would be a little much. Well now that it's the end of the chapter, you know what to do! :D (Hint: Review) Remember, I don't mind constructive critique. There's always room for improvement.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Ello readers! Enjoy the story!**

* * *

I wandered through the forest, kicking pebbles that came across my feet. I didn't think that I was going to really leave just yet. I only needed some time to think, and sort things out, I guess. They were starting to grow on me. Especially Renesmee. I wasn't quite sure that they they felt the same way though, but I had a feeling that they did. They made me feel like part of their family. It was such a warm feeling.

I was so caught up in my loving thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me. I haven't had this feeling for a long time. It felt strange, but I liked it.

I screeched as I was tackled in to a tree forcefully. I ended up creating a dent in it. "Garrett!"I breathed in alarm. "What are you doing!"

"Why the fuck didn't you come to find me?! Why the hell are you staying here with those losers!"he demanded through clenched teeth. His arms were on either side of me, digging his fists in to the tree. His cold eyes were intent on me, awaiting an answer impatiently. I've seen him furious like that before, but his wrath was never directed at me. I couldn't understand what made him become so hostile.

I knew that he would snap depending on my answer, so I chose my words carefully. "I wanted to stay here for a little while. Somone I know was there. I couldn't leave so suddenly,"I explained as calm as I could but I was shivering invoulentarily.

Next thing I knew he I was no longer against the tree and he had lifted me from the ground by my neck. "Fucking bitch,"he hissed before tossing me on to the ground. He kneeled down next to me and he condemned, "You want to stay with them over some dick that doesn't even want you anymore?" He snatched my hair in to his hand and pulled my head up from the dirt and forced me to look at him. "He's only being nice cause he feels bad for you. He doesn't really want you there. You're only embarrassing yourself."

I began to half heartedly appalogize, "I'm sorry Garrett, bu-"

"I can see that you understand your mistake Carmen, so I'll forgive you just this one time, but don't expect me to be nice like this again."

"...I appreciate it but...Could I stay here just a little bit longer?"I muttered to him timidly.

He folded his arms furiously. He definately was going to decline my request. He then threatened,"If you stay here, you'd be lucky if I came back for you."

"I'll take me chances. I need to stay. I just need time to figure some things out." Next thing I knew, my cheek was stinging horribly, but the water from the nearby river soothed it slightly.

I could hear Garrett say from the surface, "Maybe I'll come back to get you." Well that's what it sounded like he said. I saw him run off after that. I allowed myself to sink to the bottom. I sat there hugging my knees tightly staring out in a daze.

I wondered if I had made the right decision. What if Garrett was right. Maybe even Edward didn't even want me there. What if I was getting in the way of his perfect life? Should I have left with Garrett that day? If I had I wouldn't have been here asking myself all of these questions. If I left with him maybe the Cullens would be better off. They would just go on with their perfect lives as if they never knew me. I sort of wished that for them. They were nice people and they deserved it. Plus, Garrett wouldn't be angry at me, and we would be on our _merry_ way.

In the end of this, I may end up alone. Well, if the Cullen family didn't want me there, I'd have none of them. I couldn't possibly go back to Garrett. I didn't have the guts go crawling back to him after I was the one who ditched him and beg for him to forgive me. I felt like I ruined our relationship. I've been with him for so long, so I felt awkward when he wasn't around. Truthfully, I needed him, but I was going to take my chances.

It seemed like I was down there for hours, but in reality it was only minutes. My head was buried in my knees, so I couldn't see anything, and of course I wasn't paying any attention to anything that I was hearing. I was startled when a hand wrapped around my arm, and pulled me out of my fetile position. I gasped when I saw that it was Emmett. However, only air bubbles popped up in the water. He swam to the surface while still holding on to me.

"Emmett! What are you doing here?"I asked him still surprised.

He cut his eyes at me in a serious manor as he pulled the both of us out of the water."No, what are you doing here? Why were you just sitting at the bottom?"he asked, with an unusual fowardness. "Did something happen?"he then asked softer.

We both stood in a clearing and we could stare at each other in the moonlight. "Sort of. It's not a big deal though,"I lied. Of course it was a big deal. It was the only thing I was thinking about.

He stared at me for a few moments, thinking I would elaborate on it more if he waited. Of course I didn't. I didn't want him to think less of me. "That's okay,"he said as if he was aware of what was wrong with me. I was pretty sure that he didn't because Garrett would have said something if anyone was around at the time. "Let's go back to the house, what do you say?"

"Might as well,"I agreed.

He flashed me his pearly whites and threw me over his shoulder in an instant. I let out a surprised yelp.

He set me on to the ground gently when we reached the house. "You really shouldn't be walking around alone like that,"he warned.

I smirked. "I could take care of myself."

"No. _I_ could take care of myself. If you could, you wouldn't be at the bottom of that river. I'm sure that you don't sit at the bottom of rivers for fun,"he remarked in a teasing way. He wrapped his hand around my hair softly and let it slide out of his fingers slowly, as if he savored every touch. I looked up at him and saw that he was smiling. I tried my best to not grin like an idiot.

"Well you never know. What if I just really like water?"

He chuckled and walked in to the house with me following close behind. "You guys are soaking wet! What were you guys doing?"Renesmee questioned getting right in our faces right as we walked in. I looked in the living room and saw that they were all sitting on the couch watching a movie. Everyone looked at us with curiousity exept Edward and Rosalie. I could tell that they were listening, but of course Rosalie wouldn't bother to look, but it hurt my feelings that Edward didn't seem to care.

Emmett answered, "Someone likes sitting at the bottom of rivers..." He looked down at me and smirked. I glared up at him. Alice gave me a strange look. It was as if she knew the reason.

"You guys are funny!"Renesmee giggled. She grabbed on to both of our hands and dragged us by the couch saying, "Watch the movie with us!" I sat down in between Edward and Emmett. Just as I had sat down, Edward stood and rushed out of the room. I stared at him confused and hurt. My gaze moved to Bella who had been sitting on the other side of Edward, and she gave me a sympethetic look before going to follow him.

"Is he mad at me?"I inquired beginning to panic.

Everone looked at each other and shrugged."I don't think so..."Emmett answered. "It's not like you did anything wrong, right?"

"I don't know...Maybe I did..." I started to think about the last time I talked to him and I didn't recall anything that would make him mad at me. Sure, he was mad that I didn't tell him about my past, but he didn't seem angry after that.

"I'm sure he's not mad at you. It's probably just something else. He's like that sometimes."

I raised my gaze from my lap and looked at everyone in the room quickly. Jasper and Emmett were looking looking just as confused as I was, Rosalie refused to care, but Alice, she looked away quickly. It was as if she knew the reason. "What do you think Alice?"I asked her.

She avoided looking at me while she replied,"I'm not sure."

"I'm positive I have something to do with it though,"I mumbled.

"Don't be like that!"Emmett insisted putting his strong arm around my shoulder and squeezed me playfully. That caused Rosalie to storm out of the room glaring at me venemously. "Ignore her,"Emmett whispered in my ear, still keeping his arm where it was. I couldn't help but to smile. Surprisingly, Rosalie didn't bother me anymore.

As it got later Emmett put on a different movie and me, him, and Renesmee were left. Alice and Jasper left the room not too long ago to do something. I wasn't nosy enough to ask what though. It was probably one in the morning and I was getting really sleepy. The movie was great, but I was just too drowsy to stay awake. Sleep was just so delightful though.

It seemed like I was only sleeping for a few minutes, and next thing I know, I heard Alice yelling, "Wake up Carmen! Were going shopping!" Followed by her smacking me with pillows. My eyes fluttered open and I was met with Alice's excitement. I sat up and realized and I had been laying against Emmett in my sleep.

"Sorry,"I muttered scooting slightly to give him space.

"No problem,"he chuckled. Had he been there the whole night? I felt my cheeks become flushed at the thought of that. I probably looked so embarrassing when I was asleep. I could only imagine.

"Carmen!"Alice whined. "Let's go shopping! C'mon!" She grabbed my hands and yanked me to my feet.

"Calm down,"I said jokingly. "I'm coming."

She headed to the from door and I followed her quick pace. I bumped in to her when she stopped skipping shortly and asked Emmett, "Would you like to come?"

He scoffed, "I'll pass."

"Suit yourself,"she said and continued to outside. "I'm surprised that he didn't come."

"Why? Does he usually?"

"No. But he really likes you, so I thought he would want to come to spend time with you,"she informed me.

"What? He doesn't like me that much. He's just nice,"I pointed out.

She stopped walking and gave me a look of disbelief as she remarked, "Are you kidding! He really likes you! Do you see the way he blows off Rosalie now? I've never seen him do that to anyone before."

I looked at her like she was insane. "You make that sound like it's a good thing! I feel horrible if I'm the reason that they their mad at each other!"

"No, no, no. It's not like that. Rosalie got mad only because Emmett was just talking to you. Then Emmett got mad at her because she was being controling over him cause of that,"Alice explained. She got in the front seat of the car and I was forced in the backseat because Jasper was already in the passenger's seat.

I don't know what type of car it was, but it was some sort of sports car so it was going really fast. Surprisingly we didn't get pulled over. Alice had the radio on and we were all in our own worlds. My mind had been off of it for a little bit, but I still wanted to know why Edward seemed to be angry at me. I know that she knew somehow.

"Alice...Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"Why was Edward mad at me earlier?"I questioned softly.

She tried convincing me sternly, "He's not mad at you Carmen." She turned her head half way to look at me, hardly paying attention to her driving.

"Don't lie to me Alice. That just makes it worse,"I cried and banged my fists on the seats next to me for emphasis.

She stared at me sypathetically. "He's not mad at you. Not exactly,"she sighed. "He wouldn't tell me exactly, but in my vision, I saw-"

"Vision, what do you mean?"I interupted anxiously.

"That's my ability. To see the future. Wait...Don't tell me no one told you about our abilities yet?"she asked in disbelief. I shook my head quickly. "Well...Jasper can alter the moods of people around him. Emmett is very strong. Stronger than the average vampire. Edward can read thoughts. Maybe that has something to do with it,"she pondered as she turned her attention to the road slightly.

"It does..."I said grimly. "He must hate me now..." She sent me a confused expression. "Yesterday he was asking me what happened to me after he left, but I just couldn't tell him. Then I was thinking about it later that day. He must not want anything to do with me after seeing, er-hearing all that."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Carmen. Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad. Edward isn't going to be like that for very long, trust me. He probably just didn't know how to take, whatever it was that he heard."

I went silent after that in thought. It was strange because I was feeling like shit just now, but then I started feeling really serene. I sent Jasper a cold stare and he smiled in response. I couldn't really complain though. It's not as if I enjoyed feeling depressed.

"We're here!"Alice announced excited as she jumped out of the sports car. Jasper and I mimiced the action. I haven't had a real shopping trip for a long time. Maybe it could be fun.

* * *

**AN:Lemme be the first to tell you, that is not going to be the average shopping trip, for more than one reason. ;) Is it going to be a complete disaster? Dun dun dunn! Now go review!...please 3**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Yo. This chapter is slightly shorter, the next one is probably gonna be longer. Anywayz, enjoy the story! :D**

"C'mon out, Carmen. I'm sure that you look great in it!"Alice encoareged me from outside the dressing room. I looked in the mirror at every angle I could, making sure that I looked presentable. Alice had brought me aloung to go on a shopping trip with me and she had been giving me clothes to try on that she claimed would look good on me. Currently, I was wearing a snug lavender jacket that reached right above my elbow with a dark red skirt and purple boots that reached the top of my ankles. However, I put my trench coat around myself because I felt naked without it.

"Carmen! Take off that jacket right now! It ruins the outfit!"Alice giggled and tried to force it off of me, but I didn't let her. "What's with you and this jacket?"

I muttered looking down and gripping on to my jacket tightly, "Garrett told me to always wear it..."

"What? That's silly. Why would he make you do that."

"He said that men would stare at me if I didn't,"I answered.

"That's the only reason? It's not as if it's a bad thing for guys to look at you. I mean, as long as you don't dress like a slut, it's fine,"she explained far too blunt for my taste. If only she had known that I used to be a whore. If she had known, she probably wouldn't have said that.

She gave me a curious stare when I failed to respond. "Did I say something wrong?" Her small mouth was now in a pout.

"No, I was just thinking."

"Good,"she breathed sounding relieved. "I didn't want to be rude...But like I was saying, if you don't want to wear it, then you shouldn't. You can't let him own your life like that."

"B-but what if he gets mad at me?"I whimpered, almost convinced to take her advice and only needed one more push.

She smiled softly and reminded me, "Carmen, he's not here. If he was, I'm sure that all of us wouldn't let him do anything to you." She slipped my jacket off of me and pointed to the mirror near us complimenting, "See how much better it is?"

"I guess so,"I agreed sheepishly.

"Then I'm getting you this!"she decided.

"What! You can't! I'd feel terrible if you did!"

"Don't worry, I don't mind paying. Just think of it as a welcoming present,"she insisted.

*

"You can't possibly buy all of this stuff for me!"I exclaimed breaking my eye contact to look at Jasper who was carrying all of the bags full of clothes.

"Oh shush you!"Alice scolded. "It's fine. I'm not trying to brag, but we're rich, so no more lip from you."

"Fine,"I sighed defiantly.

"C'mon...I like these..."she stated dragging me to a rack full of clothes and held a pile on her arm. I could not believe how much clothes she wanted to get.

"What are you going to do with all these clothes?"I asked her in disbelief of the massive amount.

"Well, I do donate them eventually. Now if you don't mind me, I'm going to try these on,"she beamed before skipping to the dressing room.

I nodded and went by the seats Jasper was sitting by. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating, but I thought I saw Jasper inch away from me in his seat. We sat there in silence for a few moments. Even though he could shift moods, I still felt awkward. I peaked at him and saw his eyes were shut tightly and his hands were clenched on his lap. He looked like he was going to explode.

"You don't look so good,"I commented timidly.

He growled through bared teeth, "Why does your blood have to smell just like a human's? You don't know how difficult it is to resist. You wouldn't get it."

"You think me of all people wouldn't get it? Jasper, I get it more than anyone. I've been killing humans for blood ever since I was changed and now I'm addicted to it. But since you guys are vegetarians, I had no choice but to stop. I couldn't risk you guys seeing me do that. Renesmee already has. Do you get it now? I understand exactly what you're going through,"I explained. I looked at him and he looked appauled. I guess he wasn't expecting that to come from me of all people. "I know it's hard, but we're just going to have to keep finding ways to resist, right?"

He nodded in agreement. I smiled at lightly. It was nice knowing that he understood the feeling. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one forced to go though all of it. I looked up and saw that Alice was now in front of me and she said, "Let's look at the shoes!" She handed Jasper the pile of clothes which was half of the amount that she went in with, and she grabbed my hand and we went to the shoes.

I was trying on a pair of shoes when Alice reminded me, "You know Carmen, Edward really does care about you. You act like you don't know it."

"I don't understand how he would. He probably just wants me gone. I'm probably just interfering with his life."

"I don't see why you would think like that,"she sighed. I shrugged in response. "You know...The first day you came here, Edward told all of us, no-he demanded that we be kind to you. He's really trying to protect you."

I stared at her for a with wide eyes. "He really said that?...Maybe you are right Alice..."

"Of course I am!"she chimed. "After he stood up for you like that, I could tell that he really cared about you. I care about Edward a lot, he's like a brother to me. If he could love you that much, I wanted to as well. That's why I wanted you to come with us today. Now I see why Edward loves you so much."

I stared at her silently. The only thing I could do was smile bashfully and say, "Thanks Alice." Followed by me wrapping my arms around her timidly. She hugged me back tightly.

Before I came here, I never thought I was capable of loving anyone again. Not the fake love that I had toward Garrett. I was only convincing myself to love him so that I wouldn't have to face reality. I still couldn't belive how long I was with him being a fool. I wish I could take all of that wasted time and pain back. I suppose I had to just let it go. I'm lucky enough to be able to start new, and one thing is for sure; if Garrett comes back for me, I'm not leaving with him. There's no way in hell that I would.

"So..."she started while looking in the mirror at a pair of heals that she was trying on. "What do you think of Emmett?"

"What do you mean? I think he's nice,"I stated.

She narrowed her eyes at me and rephrased it, "No. I mean, do you like him. Like how he likes you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. Her beady eyes showed that she was just dying to know. "I just met all of you Alice. I can't develup feelings for anyone over night."

She pouted and muttered, "You guys would make an adorable couple." I shook my head and pretended to not hear that last comment. I didn't see why she was pushing the idea.

*

Our shopping trip was finished....for now, and we headed out in the parking lot to the car, but something wasn't right. There was literally no people in the parking lot. It was one of those underground parking lots, and it seemed darker than normal. All of the lights were out,but of course we could still see. My spine straightened when that delicious scent entered my nostrils. I-I wanted it so badly, yet I couldn't. I gripped on to Alice's arm for support. If there were any humans in there, they had been slaughtered.

Alice's arms were shaking. One of her hands were in front of her mouth. "What's going on?"she mumbled fearfully.

"Let's get out of here!"Jasper hissed, as he grabbed on to both of our arms, but he was too late.

"Alice!"I shrieked when she was yanked away from me and pushed in to a wall at the far end of the parking lot. Of course, Jasper was next. I shook fearfully as I awaited my turn to be attacked with my axiety killing me.

His voice came from behind me. "You really thought that you would get away from me?" I spun around and my eyes met his wrath filled ones for a split second, and just like that, I was knocked out.

AN:Okay, I know this is really late, but on my profile I put up a picture of what Carmen looks like. Now, you know what to do now! ^.^ (Hint: Review)


	7. Chapter 7

**An: Hey guys! I'm just going to go right in to it without further ado, enjoy the chapter! :)**

I pulled a thin night gown over my previously nude and wet body. I flung the damp towl that I had around my hair on to the floor and walked out of the bathroom.

"Took you long enough,"Garrett scoffed. He was sitting up in the bed with his back leaning against the back board. He was wearing only a robe.

I smiled and pranced across the room and jumped on to the bed next to him. I sheepily wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. At first it was a light kiss, but it became heavier and more filled with lust.

"Do you want to be with me forever, Carmen?"he asked pulling away slightly.

"Forever and ever,"I breathed cheerily.

He grinned as he started nibling at my lips roughly. His teeth grazed my mouth and it actually hurt, but I didn't care enough to push him away.

His mouth trailed down until he reached my neck. At first he kissed it really hard, but then he started nibling on it and sucking on the tender area of my neck.

He grabbed on to my shoulders and sunk his fingers in to them roughly. I stuttered, "G-Garrett?" He was beginning to scare me. He didn't respond, but a growl erupted from his throat.

I screamed when his teeth sunk in to my throat. "Garrett! What are you doing!" I pushed my arms against his chest and tried forcing him off of me, but I was too weak. He didn't even budge. Blood trinkled down my neck. He was aware, but didn't do anything to help. In fact, he licked the blood off like he was some sort of animal. "Garrett! Get off of me!"I shrieked.

Where he had bit me stung so bad. I felt like I was going to die right there. In fact I wanted to at the time. The pain was far too excruciating for me to endure.

- - -

My eyes shot open. It was only a dream. It's too bad that in reality I actually felt the pain. I hated thinking about those times for the most part. Most of my time I would surpress the memories, and I was successful until I met the Cullens...but could that be a good thing? I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to come to terms with my past. Even now it seems difficult, but could it be worth it? Maybe I could become stronger by facing all of it.

I took in my current location and didn't recognize it. The lighting was very dim, but it looked like some sort of deserted factory. The room was huge and it had various machines around the room. It seemed like they haven't been used for years. There were also puddles around the room thanks to the leaking ceilings.

My location was unfortunately the least of my worries. I was stuck in a chair with my arms tied behind my back and my ankles tied to the legs of the chair tightly with a thick wire.

Suddenly the back of my head was slapped hard. I grunted in response. "You're finally awake,"None other than Garrett hissed.

"What do you think you're doing Garrett?"I demanded.

"What? You think that you're hot shit now that you're with _those_ people. What are their names? The Cullens?"He questioned. "You need to face reality! They want you out of their lives! Are you stupid? They're tired of you already!"

"You're wrong Garrett! They would never want me gone! Stop trying to force me to think like that!"I yelled, which caused him to punch my cheek with all of his force. I winced and tried to keep the tears in my eyes. I didn't want to give him the satisfactory of him seeing my pain. My head was limp and facing the side. Garrett grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. His eyes were peircing. It was as if he could see everything about me, like what I was thinking.

"This is your last chance. If you beg for forgiveness, I'll forget this whole thing every happened. Keep in mind that it's a _very_ generous offer."

"No, Garrett. I can't...I-I can't leave them like that."I whimpered afraid of what he'd say.

His eyes widened in shock as well with fury and he screamed, "You ungrateful bitch!" He punched me in the face once again. "After all I've done for you, you're just going to leave!?"

"What have you done for me besides use me for my blood and sex?"I countered, surprising myself by actually saying it, and he didn't like. He didn't because he knew how right I was.

"I protected you from so many vampires! Without me around, you would have been dead!"he argued, saying the first piece of bull shit that came to his head.

"You wouldn't have to protect me in the first place if you hadn't picked fights with all of them!" I had really done it them. He hit me so hard that I(aloung with my chair) was knocked on to the floor.

"I don't know where your stupid little attitude came from, but I hate it!"he scolded me wrathfully. He then kicked me repeatedly.

"Why? Because I'm actually standing up for myself?"I mocked, barely able to speak.

"Shut the hell up bitch!" He ripped me out of the chair that I was tied to and threw me across the room with all of his force. I let out a loud cry.

"This is pointless. Why can't you just let me go? It would make both of our lives easier,"I requested in a mumble.

"I would never let you go without getting revenge! You're going to die today Carmen!"he promised in a roar. I was thrown against one of the metal machines. When he said I was going to die today, I didn't panic for some reason. It was as if I didn't care anymore to.

He hit me a few more times and I coughed up blood that time. His eyes went wide from the sight and smell of it. He had become crazed. What have I done?

He jumped down on to me lifted me by my shoulders. I shrieked as his fangs sunk down in to my neck. I tried to push him off of me, but it was no use. He was too much stronger than me. I've had to deal with this far too long, I couldn't take it anymore!

This time was different than all of the others. Normally he would stop when he was satisfied, but it seemed like he wasn't going stop this time. After a while, I felt like...I really was going to die. Was it possible to die like this considering that I was a vampire? I wondered if my ability would allow me to die. Humans were able to die from blood loss, and I was pretty close to being one.

I've always given death a lot of thought. I always imagined that I was going to die a lonely death. I didn't want to die like this. Or at all. I wasn't ready to die. Things were starting to get better for me, and now I was going to lose it all. I have to say, the one thing I won't regret is standing up for myself. If I hadn't then I would have still been living in that abyss that I had been so accustom to.

My vision was starting to fail on me. Everything was getting blurry. My screams sounded like background noises until they faded until I passed out completely...

*

I had to be coming close to my death. Now my memories were coming to me. It was like how when people said that their lives were flashing before them. I never thought that it would really happen to me. The weird thing was that the sad memories didn't appear. The only thing that I was remembering was the good times that I've had with the Cullens, but mostly Edward and Emmett. Did I really like Emmett that much, but just haven't realized it? I regretted not taking my chances with him when Alice attempted convincing me to.

I didn't want to die, but I couldn't do anything. No one was around to save me. The best thing that I could have done was to find the will to keep myself alive. My body was numb, but I could still feel the sensation of Garrett beating on me. I had to do something quick or else it'll all be over for me.

* * * -Meanwhile...

"Someone took Carmen with him!"Alice screamed as her and Jasper barged in to their house.

Emmett was the first to jump up from the couch that they were all sitting on and demand, "Where!" Carlisle and Esme ran in to the room looking alarmed.

"I-I don't know,"Alice stuttered. "Last time we were with her we were at the mall. When we got in to the parking garage, two vampires attacked me and Jasper, and then the third one took her."

"How could you guys let this happen! First to Bella, and now Carmen. Are you trying to get everyone I care about killed!"Edward roared allowing his temper to control him.

Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder and intructed calmly, "It's not going to help that you're getting angry, Edward. What we need to do is go back there, split up and try picking up her scent. Let's go before it's too late."

The Cullens all headed out to search for her. All except Rosalie and Renesmee, that is. Renesmee only because Edward and Bella didn't want her to get mixed up in the danger. Rosalie wasn't even at the house anymore.

* *

Once we got to the mall, we all split up and searched for her, trying to find her scent. I could faintly smell her scent in the air, but not enough to determine what direction she was in.

I had been running for a pretty long time. I hoped that I hadn't gone too far from wherever she was. I was about to turn around and search more thoughrowly, but then I picked up some of her scent. So I was headed in the right direction. It gave me encouragement to run faster.

*

The trail of her scent ended up leading me to this strange warehouse. It looked like it was abandoned. Whatever was happening to Carmen in there couldn't be good, so I rushed inside. It was dead silent, and I could smell her blood in the air. I ran as fast as I could to the source of it.

My face heated up and every muscle in my body shook violently when I saw what was happening. This strange guy was on top of Carmen digging in to her skin with his nails with his teeth sinking in to her. I ran to stop him, but stopped abrubtly. The smell of her blood was so strong that if I got any closer I would lose control. Instead, I growled at the man, "Get off of her!"

His head shot up and he demanded, "You! I smelled your scent all over her! Who the hell are you!"

"Emmett..."I heard Carmen barely manage to whisper.

"Get away from her!"I warned. He smirked and stood up and approached me with her blood covering his mouth and shirt. The scent of it caused me to step back, and it was a mistake. The guy's eyes went wide and he mocked, "You've never tasted her blood!? How lame! That's all she's good for!"

I felt my body become heated with fury. Without even thinking, I lunged at him and pushed him against one of the machines and utttered, "What have you done to her!"

He snicked, "More than you ever could." With that he pushed me off of him and started beating on me. After that, we went all out, aiming to kill each other. I had kill him first. I had to save Carmen. She needed me now more than ever.

**AN: Hope you liked it! :) I'm not sure if I'm going to break it in to two chapters, but the last chapter(s) of the story is coming up. I'm almost done with it, so I'm hoping it'll be up by Thursday. I feel like I've been working on this story for a long time, but it's ight. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Alright guys! Last chapter! I hope you like it! :)**

I could see the flames dancing. It was the only thing that I could manage to see dew to my lack of most vision. I wasn't even in pain anymore. My body became completely numb. It seemed like I was dreaming. If only...I could hear growls and grunts which belonged to both Emmett and Garrett. I had no indication of who was winning since I couldn't see well. The only thing I knew was that only one of them would walk away alive.

Before I even realized, I found myself whimpering with my cries gradually grew louder, "Emmett...Emmett...Emmett!" After that their noises ceased. All that I heard was the fire cackling, as if to mock me and increase my anxiety. It remained like that for a while. It could have been mere minutes, or hours. I lost my conception of time so I wouldn't know.

Every time I blinked I felt an over powering surge of relief fill my small body. I ended up losing the strength as well as will stay awake. My eye lids became heavier and heavier by the second.

* * *

I successfully killed that vampire in the fire. I hadn't a clue who he was, but I knew that he was hurting Carmen. That was good enough reason for him to be dead. It still made my blood boil to think of the things that he said about her. How could she have stayed around him so long if he treated her so disrespectfully as if she wasn't even a person? My best guess was that she was afraid of him, and for good reason. I couldn't imagine what they got in to a fight over, but she looked brutal.

The sight of her made my heart sink, but at the same time it made my blood boil because of the one who is responsible for it. I cared for her so much and it hurt to see her in such a state. Her body was drenched in cuts and bruises, but the worst part was blood. I wanted, no I needed to help her, but the temptation was taking over me. I didn't want to risk making her condition worse, but I didn't have any other options. There was no telling if the rest of my family would find this place any time soon. It seemed like she couldn't stay like that for much longer. She was starting to resembled a corpse.

I approached her stiffly, with great caution. I kneeled down and reached out to pick her up, but once I touched her my desire got the better of me and I couldn't resist any longer.

In my mind I hated myself for doing it, but my body couldn't disagree more. I had to admit, it felt amazing to taste her blood. However, I felt like I was on the same level as that guy when I did it. I was nothing like that guy! I would never take advantage of Carmen intentionally.

Was it possible for me to kill her like this, even though she's a vampire? I hoped that it wasn't because I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't drunk human blood or anything similar to it in such a long time that the temptation was nearly impossible to avoid.

"Get off of her!" All of a sudden, I was knocked off of her, and I was relieved, yet yearned for more blood. The one who had pushed me was none other than Edward. I could see the rage bursting through his eyes. "What have you done...?"he hissed looking at her in disbelief.

It clicked in my mind that it seemed like I did _all _of this to her since that other guy was now ashes. "It was that guy!"I yelled pointing at the fire. "He did most of this, but I killed him!"

"Garrett...? Even so, how could you?!"Edward roared disappointed in me.

"You know how it is Edward! Don't start now with that shit! We have to help Carmen!"

"Go find Carlisle, he'll know what to do. I don't you here to hurt her even more,"Edward instructed ruthlessly. At the time, I really wanted to convince Edward that it wasn't my fault, but I knew that it wouldn't help Carmen. The fact that Edward acted like I didn't care about her as much as he did really got under my skin. I decided that it wasn't the time to be worried about such things and I put my full attention on finding Carlisle...

* * *

"Carmen! You're awake!"Emmett gasped. I was awake? There was no way. I was sure that I would've been dead after all of that. I tried sitting up only to be faced with a great deal of pain and dizziness. In alarm, Emmett jumped up from the seat he had been sitting on next to my bed and told me, "Don't try to move. You'll make your condition worse."

I sighed, giving up on trying to move, and remained still leaning up against the head board. Emmett sat back down and stared at me anxiously. "What happened?"I asked him with a hand on my pounding head.

"Well, how much do you remember?"

"I remember Garrett beating the shit out of me, but then you came. What happened to Garrett? I don't remember anything else." In the back of my mind, I knew that Garrett was dead, but I needed closure.

"I killed him,"Emmett remarked sounding almost proud.

You would think I would be estatic after hearing that, but I wasn't. Garrett did some pretty heinous things to me, but I could never hold it against him. I've been with Garrett for so long, it was like I had a loyalty to him. I don't think I would be able to bear being around him anymore, but it was depressing that things turned out like this. I wish Garrett was the same person he was before he changed me, at the time when we first met. I was truly in love with him during those times. That was the part of him that I was still holding on to. That's why I was missing him.

Emmett frowned at my silence. "Should I not have?"he inquired softly, unsure.

I smiled at him wearily and pondered, "You did what you had to, right?" He nodded in response. "Then you shouldn't feel guilty. It's kill or be killed, right?"

"I guess so,"he agreed. "So, you don't remember anything else?"

"No. Did something important happen?"I asked getting worried. I had this odd feeling, like more happened when I was knocked out.

He bit his lip and broke eye contact with me. "Well I guess you could say it was important, but you're probably better off not knowing. I just want you to know that...I'm sorry." What the hell did he do? He couldn't even look at me.

Not convinced by his advice, I pestered,"What happened?"I placed a supportive hand on his shoulder lightly. He peaked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. "...Never mind,"I muttered looking away from him and at my twiddling fingers awkwardly.

"Carmen..." I looked up and standing in the doorway was Edward. Emmett and Edward exchanged glances and just like that Emmett was gone.

"Hey Edward,"I greeted weakly. He sat down on the bed, careful not to sit on my legs.

"Are you feeling alright? You've been out for almost a week,"he mentioned looking really worried. My eyes widened.

I replied, "A whole week? Wow...I'm just a little sore, that's all."

"You should be back to normal in maybe a day or two,"he guessed.

I chuckled, "Back to normal? That's impossible for me." I meant it as a joke, but I knew it was true.

"...Did Emmett tell you what he did?"Edward asked nervously.

I shook my head. "But I think I'm better off not knowing. That's what Emmett said."

"I think that it's best when you put it that way,"he agreed. "I just wish that the whole thing never happened. In fact, I wish you never met Garrett. Then, you would have remained your usual self,"Edward stated sullenly. He noticed my behavioral change as well. I guess it disappointed him...

"It's funny...After all that he did, I still can't hate him. He wasn't all that bad. I remember when you left I was always depressed and I was happy with him for some time. But...after he turned me, he treated me totally different. It was as if he lost all respect for me."

"I still can't believe all that happened...But we have a chance to make things right, don't you think?"

"What do mean?"

He suggested, "I mean, you should stay here with us. I'm sure that you'd be a lot happier, and I know everyone would hate to see you go."

I looked at him skeptically. That was going to be a big decision for me. It would take me some time to think it through before I could give a clear answer.

* * *

"Do you feel differently about Emmett after all that? He did save your life after all."

I narrowed my eyes at Alice playfully causing her to giggle. I felt my face begin to flush and I tried to keep a straight face as I admitted, "I...think I love him, but I know it wouldn't work out..."

"What are you talking about? Of course it would,"she assured me. "If you two love each other, you can do anything."

"What about Rosalie? I'm sure that she wouldn't be so happy if him and I were together."

"Are you kidding? After Emmett went to save you, Rosalie got so mad that she left. I have a feeling we won't be hearing from her again."

"What?" I was in disbelief. "Then that was my fault. I'm horrible..."

Alice demanded, "Don't go feeling bad again. There's no way that it was your fault! You weren't even interested in Emmett at the time, but she was hostile to him anyway. I hate to say it, but when it comes down to it, it was Rosalie's fault, not yours."

I sighed deeply. That wasn't the only reason I refused to be with him. There was nothing wrong with him-he was simply perfect, but I had far too many flaws. It wasn't fair to him. If I ever end up being with him, I wanted to be enough like my old self as I could.

"Carmen..."Alice called, yanking me from my reverie. "I have a bad feeling. You're not planning on leaving, are you?" She looked heart broken. She must have known the answer already thanks to her visions.

"Seems like everyone is leaving nowadays,"she attempted to humor me, yet her smile wasn't a convincing one.

* * *

Today was the day. The day I'd get my life back on track. It's been a few days and now I was completely healed. I was ready to face the world on my own. It seemed intimidating, or even foolish now, but I know it'll be worth it.

I gripped the strap of my small bag and left the Cullen's domain without intentions on coming back soon. I'm sure they were all aware of my plans. Edward probably read Alice's thoughts or forced her to tell him, and I'm positive he discussed it with everyone when I hadn't been present.

I hated to not give them all a proper farewell, but this was the only way I could see me doing this. Saying goodbye made things seem so depressing. It wasn't as if I wouldn't see them again. I didn't want to become too emotional. I wasn't good with that stuff.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a strangled voice states, "What they were saying is true...You really are leaving us." I turned around only to be faced with a dreadful looking Renesmee and she seemed to be on the verge of tears. I despised her looking like that.

"Sorry. I have to."

She cried upset, "No you don't! You don't have one good reason!" Stray tears slid down her cheeks slowly. Seeing her in such a state tempted me to stay, yet I wouldn't.

"You wouldn't understand now, but I'm sure you will,"I promised. "See you around Renesmee." I turned my back to her and fled from her desperate pleas for me to stay. I couldn't stand leaving her like that. She was the first of the Cullens that I become close to. I was able to relate to her. She felt like a sister to me now. I hoped that there weren't any more goodbyes in store for me. I couldn't do that again.

I was on my way. I hadn't chosen where to go yet, but I'm positive I'd come across something worthwhile.

"Don't I get a proper goodbye, Carmen?" I whipped around and there stood Emmett as if he had been waiting there for me to whole time.

"Emmett!"

"I was hoping that you wouldn't leave,"he began. "I'm not going to stop you but aren't I worthy of an explanation?" He didn't seem angry. He was too calm to be. He was merely frustrated.

I confessed sullenly, "I'm sorry Emmett, but I have to. If I don't I'll never be the same."

He stepped closer to me. "What do you mean you won't be the same?" His worry was apparent.

"I'm not the same person as I was when I was human. Edward noticed it too."

"How is leaving going to help? You can't! I...love you,"he attempted to convince with his voice becoming less threatening as it became softer and softer with each word.

"I know I must not show it, but I love you too." My voice was cracking and I could feel my cheeks heat up, and I continued, "Will you feel the same when I come back?" That was one of my final worries.

He gripped my shoulders and rationalized, "I know I can't change you mind about leaving, but I'll come with you."

I shook my head regrettingly. "No. It's something that I have to do on my own."

He sighed and released his grip letting his arms rest limp to his sides. I quickly said, "I want to change for you. All of you guys...Being around all of you made me want to change. I love all of you." I wrapped my arms around his waist timidly. I whispered, "Please try to understand..." I rested my head on his chest and awaited to hear a heart beat, but of course never heard it.

He hugged my back tightly and warned me jokingly, "You better not be out there a long time. I'll be waiting for you as patient as I can."

I squeezed him tighter. "If our feelings are real, then time shouldn't matter, right?"

I felt him chuckle. "So this is sort of like a test for us, huh?" He pulled away from me and left his arms around my waist loosely. "I think we'll pass. I'm going to hate waiting though."

His face came closer and closer to mine until our lips collided in to a sweet kiss. I hadn't expected it in the least bit, but it made me really happy. The kiss felt true and it gave me a warm feeling. After that I knew that I could trust him, and that he wouldn't betray me. At least I hoped.

He held both sides of my face with his palms and carressed my cheeks softly. "Do what you have to do..." He kissed my forhead lightly. "Come back as soon as you can."

"Thank you Emmett, I will. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too,"he muttered. We embraced one last time, and I was off again. I didn't want to start now, but I couldn't help it. As I ran tears streamed down my eyes. Out of everyone there, I think I loved Emmett the most. It killed me to depart from him, but I was determined to change. I wanted to become a stronger person. When I do, I know that I'll return to them. It was what was motivating me. I couldn't wait to join them in their happiness. I just hoped that Emmett would keep his promise. What am I saying? I know that he will. He had my full trust now. I love him more than anything. He doesn't stay out of my mind for very long.

I didn't know how far I had gone, but I must have been traveling for hours. I wasn't going to take a break until I've reached my destination. Earlier, I didn't have a clear idea, but now I knew where I wanted to go. Where everything began. Both my delights and horrors. Chicago...

~ End~

**AN: I really hope you guys liked it! I had fun writing it! :) When I was finishing this chapter, I realized that I could do a mini sequel to this. I wanted to start another story on fictionpress, but if you want me to do a sequel for this let me know. I know that it's the last chapter, but just review anyway ;) Please and thank youuu!**


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